Hair- in- a- Can: Other Uses. Canned hair. The cure for almost all problems.
"Hair in a Can". nothing beats it.
Hair in a can.Most versatile of products.
Here are some really ingenious extra uses for that brilliant "Hair in a Can product.
Effective way to rid yourself of unwanted lover.
Rent video of really scary werewolf movie.
Watch together during full moon.
When partner is really wound up, excuse yourself, and go to the bathroom.
Spray all over with "Hair in a can" spray, while making agonising growly sounds.
Rush from bathroom into room where soon to be ex lover is cowering.
Then watch as ex lover jumps out window, never to return. ( Do not try this unless you are both on the ground floor).
Become a millionaire the easy way by turning an elephant into a wooly mammoth.
Go to Africa or India with one hundred cans of "Hair in a Can", and a good video camera.
Find a tame elephant.
Spray elephant all over with "Hair in a Can" spray.
Use camera to film hairy elephant.
Send copies of film to zoos all over the world offering them "Unique" wooly mammoth in exchange for three million dollars.
Make certain money is cleared before any zoooligists actually see "Mammoth".
How to really annoy a biblical character.
Get a time machine.
Travel back to Israel in the time of Samson. Bring plenty of "Hair in a Can"
Enter Samson's tent and hide under bed.
When Delilah cuts his hair and then leaves. Sneak out and spray the sleeping Samson's head With "Hair in a Can".
Stay there, and repeat each time she cuts his hair.
She will find this very annoying.
Time travel again. "Yes we can".~~~~~~~ "No you cant".
Wipe the grin of Barack Obama's face.
Use your time machine to travel back to 2008. Bring two cans of "Hair in a Can".
Give them to John McCain, and tell him to use generously. Bald guys don't get elected.
Maybe you can change destiny.
Make "Mama Grizzly" real.
Take five cans of "Hair in a Can"
Knock on Sarah Palin's door.
When she answers it, spray her all over with "Hair in a Can".
She can look the part then.
Freak out astronomers.
Enroll in NASA Astronaut program. Train for five years. Volounteer to go to The Moon.
Smuggle three million cans of "Hair in a Can" into spaceship.
When you arrive at The Moon, spray all over with "Hair in a Can".
That will really freak out the astronomers.
Freak out astronomers (2)
If previous mission proves beyond your capability.
Get round helium balloon. Paint or transfer "Man in The Moon" face on it.
Climb Mount Palomar with balloon on long string.
Spray Balloon generously with "Hair in a Can".
Wait for nightfall, and then let hairy Moon balloon float just in front of telescope lense.
This will really freak them out as well.
Ruin Wimbledon Tennis Tournament.
Break into Centre Court at Wimbledon on the night before mens final. Bring two Thousand cans of "Hair in a can".
Spray all over tennis court.
Wait at home for morning news, so that you can have a good laugh.
This one is especially useful for anyone who doesn't like sports, as this method can be used to screw up any sporting event, from The World Series to The World Cup.
I hope that these suggestions will be adopted, at least in part, by some enterprising readers of this article.
It should help, in these difficult times, by giving a boost to sales of "Hair in a Can" products. Perhaps our governments might consider putting some of my suggestions in the next "Fiscal Stimulus Bill". It wont be any more "Hairbrained" than some of the things they have already done.
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